Chapter One

“Our podcast interview, 28 years in the making.”

Everyone stared at the raised hand behind the sheet of glass. The calendar beside the partition read September 21st, 2026. A voice suddenly came through their AKG Hi-Tec noise-cancelling headphones. Audio technician and engineer Mr. Mason Dylan, AKA “Button boy,” flicked a switch marked “intercom” and gave everyone a heads-up. “Okay Mr. Lewis; five minutes to launch. Let’s check the microphones and headphone levels one more time.”

On the other side of the soundproof glass sat three gentlemen: the host, Mr. Trevor Lewis, and two anonymous guests appearing on his new show for Patreon listeners. Trevor, a local pod-jockey, repeated a familiar test pattern used by musicians and audio technicians. “Testing one–two, one–two. Test. Test.”

Behind the two-way glass, Mason gave a thumbs-up as the final moments drew closer. Trevor looked at his guests. “You guys okay, do you need anything?” The show’s producer had selected them from a questionnaire sent through the station’s FB page, so Trevor knew very little about them. The format was designed for exactly that: the host meeting strangers and working through their problems as a non-biased observer.

The two guests showed familiar signs of nervousness: adjusting their headphones, wiping their foreheads, stretching their mouths. One made a simple request. “I could use some water, if you don’t mind.”

Trevor assured him, “Absolutely, I will have the assistant bring in a few bottles for you guys in just a moment.”

A switch clicked inside the audio room, followed by a click in each of the three headsets. “One, more, minute Mr. Lewis”

A natural at podcasts, Trevor tried to put his guests at ease. “Relax, everything will go smoothly if you just stay calm and be yourselves. If you feel uncomfortable just raise your hand and we will take a break.”

Both guests nodded in unison.

From behind the glass came one final reminder. “All good in here Mr. Lewis, we are ready to go–on my count.”

Trevor noticed a black portable speaker box unlike anything he had seen before. It was about 16 inches wide, 12 inches high, and 5 inches deep. On the front sat a built-in 10-inch iPad, a camera lens, and a microphone. Along the top were a frequency dial and two VU audio-level meters, while a long open port for sound projection ran across the bottom.

Underneath were four metal legs, each fitted with spring-loaded rubber grommets like little shock absorbers. Each side held a 3-inch woofer port. On the back were two 6-inch bass speakers, two midrange speakers, a built-in rechargeable battery, charging ports, and a few miscellaneous knobs. It was Wi-Fi and Bluetooth compatible–basically a very large boom box/iPhone sitting beside one of his guests. Trevor pointed at it. “That looks interesting, are you recording this?”

One guest turned and pointed. “You mean this thing? No, no not really. We don’t leave home without it.”

Trevor lifted his lip and twisted his head. “Cute”

The minute hand crept toward the top of the hour. In the audio booth, Mason held one finger high and made a final equipment check. His finger moved with the rhythm of his verbal count until the last three motions went silent.

“We are live in five, four,-,-,-.” The finger dropped, pointed toward the host, then disappeared.

The show always opened with music from the ’80s and ’90s. Today’s selection was no different: a 1979 hit on the cusp of a new generation, “Video Killed the Radio Star” by The Buggles, famously the first video shown on MTV. The first verse was skipped and the chorus faded in. On cue, Mason raised the applause fader for an artificial audience, then slowly pulled it back.

“Good evening and welcome. My name is Trevor Lewis and I am your host for our 3rd episode; of our newest Thursday night podcast of ‘The Rest of us.’ A talk show about everyone else, but ourselves” But first, I would like tonight’s guests and first-time casters to introduce themselves.” Sitting in a triangular formation, Mr. Lewis looked to his far right and pointed. “Let’s start with you, what is your name and profession.”

            “Hi, my name is Stephen Cole; I am an Electrical architect here on Long Island and a father of 2.”

Trevor glanced down at the papers in front of him. “Excellent, nice to meet you” He raised a pencil and pointed to the other guest. “And who is the person to your right. What is your name sir?”

“Hello, I am William Cole: Stephen’s younger brother; I am a corporate lawyer with a New York based law firm here in New York City but please; you can call me Billy”

Suddenly, overwhelming feedback rang out. Everyone ripped off their headsets to escape the deafening high-pitched screech coming from the portable speaker at the end of the table. After a few seconds, they cautiously put the headsets back on.

A deep, husky, sarcastic voice bellowed from the black box. The speaker shifted on its own, bouncing as if it had short, stubby legs, until it faced its target. “That’s it!? Come on Billy. I can think of a hundred different names for you. Let’s start with—dipstick, maybe… shit for brains, how about Mr. I Peemyself?”

Billy turned and yelled at the box. “Hey! The interview hasn’t even started yet and you’re adlibbing already?” He turned to Stephen, outraged. “See I told you, you should have left him at home!” Apparently, Billy had unfinished business with the voice coming from the black box.

Taken aback by the unscheduled argument, Trevor rolled his chair away from the table and leaned back. “Whoa. Whoa. Excuse me! What the hell was that and who are you talking to?”

Billy stepped back and extended his arms as if hosting his own show. “Well that is our supposed friend Rocco; the one I didn’t want to bring along, and the one I wanted to forget to mention.”

Stephen glared at Billy, then turned to Mr. Lewis. “Trevor, I honestly don’t know what to say; this is all too common for me”

Behind the glass, Mason stared in disbelief and shrugged. He pointed toward the room. Through the headsets came three words: “What the hell?”

All eyes turned toward the end of the table. The black box bounced side to side until it reached its target. “Billy, are you freaking kidding me, Is that what I am to you, just a friend; after everything I did for you!? Look in the mirror you piece of shit; you wouldn’t be where you are today, if it wasn’t for me.” The bass in his voice vibrated like woofers at a rap party. Everyone threw off their headsets again.

As the VU meters red-lined, Mason screamed, “SHUT THAT THING OFF” The output needles pinned all the way to the right.

Trevor glared at his guests. “Who is this guy, and what the hell is he talking about?”

Stephen quickly adjusted the speaker’s volume, then pointed toward his ears and looked into the booth. “Is that better?”

The black box continued. “Testing one two, one two… Hey Trevor is this thing on or what!?”

The engineer gave two thumbs-up. “All is good”

With their headsets back on and the levels adjusted, the voice from the black box returned. “Trevor. Hi, my name is Rocco, can you hear me okay?”

“Yes I can… So; Rocco, who are you and why aren’t you in the studio with us?”

“Well, it’s a long story but I think I can answer it, rather quickly.”

Trevor looked toward his guests. “Please Rocco, enlighten our listeners”

Rocco cleared his throat. “Well if I can be honest”

Trevor wrote a note. “Rocco, we expect nothing less on our show”

 “Well, okay then. It seems that one of your bone-head guests didn’t want to bring me along.”

Trevor stared at the brothers. “Stephen. Billy. Is this true?”

Billy flailed his arms. “Well you can see how he acts; he is just a child with no control” He hunched toward the black box like an evil scientist, twisting his arms and hands. His voice turned sinister. “That’s when he gets under your skin; and when he does, there is no escape.” Then he stood upright and looked at Mr. Lewis as if nothing had happened. “I personally; can’t even imagine him in the studio with us”

Mr. Lewis traded looks between his guests. “Oh; come on, that can’t be true.”

Stephen waved a hand over his head. “I have just learned over the years to stay out of their way. FYI, this is nothing”

Billy paced the room and muttered, “That Mother fucker–Stephen you better do something.”

Trevor stared at Stephen. “What do you mean nothing; they want to kill each other!”

Stephen lifted his head with a restrained laugh. “Kill each other? Oh, I am sorry did you think they are fighting?”

Trevor looked between the three of them. “You heard that, what would you call it?”

Stephen answered without hesitation. “Mr. Lewis they’re bonding. What you are seeing and hearing is just, brotherly love.”

Mason leaned back with his feet up and hands behind his head. “This is great stuff. You can’t write this shit.”

Billy began to settle down and returned to Trevor’s original question. “Trevor getting back to your original question; why is he not here with us, well the answer is quite simple. He is just a little too big, to lug around.”

Still confused, Trevor turned back to the microphone. “Oh… I see; I didn’t know. You know we have another podcast on Tuesday’s called ‘Obesity and solitude.’ It starts at 8pm on Tuesdays, Rocco would you be interested in participating?”

Stephen and Billy stared at the speaker, eyes widening. The black box crab-walked in place, turning toward them as Rocco’s deep, harsh voice emerged, subdued at first.

Stephen received the first blast. “What the fuck did he just say?” Rocco’s volume climbed toward another red-line as he turned toward Billy. “Who the hell does he think he is?” Then Rocco spun on one leg and faced Mr. Lewis. “STEPHEN! Did he just call me obese? Why does he think I am fat! And who the hell does he think he is?”

Billy doubled over laughing. “I’ll be right back; I think I just peed myself.”

Stephen nearly spit out his drink. “That’s enough! Rocco, you promised. You have to remember: he has never met you; he has never seen you, and so can you just please… relax. I am starting to get a migraine.”

Rocco grew more agitated. “Did you show him the picture?”

Stephen covered his face with both hands. “No.”

Rocco’s voice tightened through his teeth. “Show him the picture”

Stephen snapped back. “No”

Rocco insisted. “Show him the damn picture!”

Billy returned from the bathroom just as Stephen slammed both hands onto the table. “NO! Not yet. Now would you please just sit tight?”

“Okay, okay I will stand down” The radio angled toward Billy. “And you. Just remember Billy… I am not through with you yet little man, you wait.”

Billy raised his arms. “What the hell did I do?”

Rocco went silent. Trevor adjusted the questionnaire in front of him and tried to get Mason’s attention, but the booth was empty. “Mason. Mason, are you there?” He turned toward Stephen. “What picture?”

A door shut in the audio room and Mason returned. “Yes Mr. Lewis; I am here. Sorry, I needed a bathroom break.”

“Okay; well, let’s get back on the air and begin the show”

“Mr. Lewis, I never took you off; you have been live this whole time.”

Backed into a corner, Mr. Lewis grabbed his microphone and threw out his catchphrase. “‘Let’s make a Cast!’ I hope our listeners have enjoyed listening to our little skit.” The artificial applause faded away.

Mason raised a thumb and gave an exaggerated wink. “Good catch boss.”

Mr. Lewis wiped his forehead in relief and returned to his guests. “Stephen; I have to ask, is Rocco a friend of yours?”

Stephen looked at Billy. “He’s actually more of a friend/brother to both of us. We trade him off on a schedule because of our kids”

Trevor responded immediately. “Your kids? I have to admit; I am lost and also quite afraid to ask.”

Mr. Lewis glanced around the room and even into the audio booth. “Wow, I got to tell you guys; that alone sounds like quite the story” He leaned back. “I will tell you one thing; you got me intrigued; it sounds like this could be one hell of a show all on its own.”

The brothers looked at each other and answered together. “Yeah; No- Sorry; that is not gonna happen.”

Trevor straightened his paperwork into one pile and tapped it against the tabletop. Then he turned to Stephen. “Okay, well then; ‘let’s make a Cast!”

On cue, Mason raised the applause fader, then faded it back.

Trevor turned to the older brother. “I believe we will start with you. Stephen, you contacted the show; through a questionnaire, to tell us about ‘The Rest of us’ I am assuming you were talking about your brother, is that correct?”

Stephen relaxed a little. “Well Trevor: it’s about my brother Billy; our good friend Rocco and myself. I think the story we have for you will be… how shall I put it, very inspiring and unique?”

Mr. Lewis was taken by his sincerity. “Well, from what I have seen and heard so far, I can’t wait. The microphone is yours; you have the floor.”

“Thank you.” Stephen reached for a glass of water. “My name is Stephen Cole, and I am going to tell you a very unbelievable but true story. You can choose to believe–or not, that; I will leave up to you. You are just going to have to use your imagination and put together the most; unimaginable possibilities of what you are about to hear; because to be honest, Billy and I couldn’t believe it either.”

Trevor noticed the listener count on his laptop. “Excuse me Stephen, sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let everybody know; that we just hit 5000 listeners and we haven’t even started the show yet.” He looked at Mason through the glass and mouthed, “This is fucking amazing” Then he motioned back to Stephen. “Sorry this is a first for us. ‘Let’s make a Cast!’”

Stephen took another sip of water and continued. “I am 42 years old; I live in a small town here on the Island. I have 2 children, both girls; ages 15 and 13. The oldest is named Jillian and the youngest is named, Lucy Lu and I have a lovely wife named Arianna. “We met through a few friends in college and haven’t separated since. We have been married 18 years and every day is just a new adventure.”

“Our house; is no different than any other in the neighborhood. I bought it from our parents when they retired, and moved to Florida. It is a one floor cape; with a few small doggie dormers out the front roof, to extend the upstairs. We all know; a growing family needs all the room you can get.”

Trevor nodded. “Yes, I know exactly what you are talking about, go on.”

“We have an above ground pool: with a small leak, a garage that will never be empty and two miss-matched garbage cans, one is missing a lid. Last but not forgotten a mixed breed golden hair dog named Jake. We are currently rescuing; another puppy we named Charlie, a Catahoula breed, out of Louisiana”

“That sounds nice” remarked Trevor.

            “My brother and I grew up in Levittown about 5 miles from where I live now. My brother Billy and I are the only 2 children our parents had—“

“Was that by choice?” questioned Trevor.

“I don’t know, but to be honest I never asked. I suppose we had our normal childhood: family trips, barbeques, family outings to Jones beach and the occasional leather strap punishment. Oh yeah! I got the belt while Billy would be sent to bed with no dinner. Some people had all the luck. 

Billy shook his head like a bobblehead figurine. “He’s not joking, it was a thin belt”

“Oh, I bet, Ouch.” remarked Trevor.

            “I met my closest and dearest friend along the back fence. If you know that area; a lot of the houses backed each other. I believe; I was 10, when I met him. Keith was his name; and even to this day we still talk, though others stood out for a time; they eventually faded, but Keith remained true and neutral.”

Trevor pointed toward the glass. “Everyone has that one friend, like me with ‘Button boy’ over there.” Mason smiled and waved. Stephen waved back.

“We moved from Levittown to our new home in Bethpage when I was 16 and Billy was 14.” Stephen paused. “Billy, Is that right?”

“I believe I was 13 going on 14, but close enough” recalled Billy.

“Well anyway; I know it’s supposed to feel like a life time ago, but it doesn’t. There seems to be a moment when time is supposed to fly by; but for some reason it has slowed down for us; at least it has felt like that, for me. “I know my children don’t know a lot about life yet and how things work; I just truly believe my kids want to keep me around for as long as they can, and after this story you will know why.”

Mr. Lewis glanced at the podcast site on his laptop. “Well! Stephen I must say I am getting more and more intrigued by the minute; along with what looks like, many of our listeners. Why don’t we take a break; for our sponsors and we will be right back with our guests, Stephen and William, I mean Billy Cole”

The applause rose and faded. Through the glass, Mason slid a hand across his neck, flicked a switch, and spoke. “And we’re out.”

Trevor removed his headphones and motioned for the others to do the same. “Wow guys, great freaking way to start a show, I think you are naturals at this.”

Stephen questioned the compliment. “Yeah I don’t think so, but thank you.”

Trevor reorganized his paperwork to accommodate the unexpected format change and turned to Billy. “So Billy listen. When we get back on the air; I want you to tell us about yourself and work your way into how, you both met Rocco.”

Billy rolled his thumbs over each other and declined. “Yeah, I don’t think that is a good idea.”

Trevor looked up. “Excuse me, what did you say?”

Billy repeated himself. “I said, I don’t think that is a good idea, he should speak for himself.”

A tap came from the audio room. Mason held up three fingers, signaling three minutes until they were back on the air. Trevor, clearly insulted by Billy’s refusal, motioned to his guests. “Alright get ready for round two; get comfortable and put your headphones back on.”

Mason’s countdown began again, his finger moving like a metronome toward the host. Five, four,-,-,-. The fake studio audience rose and began to fade.

“Hello and welcome back to our podcast program; ‘The rest of us; a talk show about everyone else, but ourselves. And for all of those just tuning in, welcome. I am your host; Trevor Lewis and with us tonight is Stephen and Billy Cole from, Long Island New York” Stephen and Billy tilted their heads and pointed to the portable speaker. “Oh, and let’s not forget our absentee guest Rocco. Rocco are you still with us?”

The portable speaker at the end of the table vibrated. “Yes, yes Trevor, where else would I be?”

Trevor turned to Billy. “Billy, I think our audience would like to hear from you; tell us a little about yourself and how you met Rocco.”

Rocco leaned in. “Yeah, I would like to hear what he has to say; and Billy don’t you dare leave anything out.”

Trevor covered his microphone and looked toward Mason. “Wow, this is hysterical” Mason laughed.

Stephen gave one final warning. “Rocco, one more time and you’re out!” The engineer turned Rocco’s microphone down.

Trevor extended an open hand. “Billy the airwaves are yours; ‘Let’s make a Cast!’”

“Thank you Trevor. Where do I begin? Well you heard the basics from my brother Stephen; so, I guess I will start with my family.

“I live just north of my brother; about 20 minutes away, and as you can see we are still very close. Married, with one boy and one girl ages 13 and 14. I was a late bloomer.”

The speaker barely moved as Rocco muttered, “Yeah, you’re telling me.”

Stephen picked up the speaker and spoke through clenched teeth. “Rocco”

Rocco’s grommets sank low. “Alright; Alright, I’ll stop.”

Stephen looked at Trevor. “I am so sorry; I can unplug him if you want.”

Trevor waved off the idea. “No that’s okay; I would like to hear from him; a little later on, if that is okay.” He tried to cover another incident. “To all of you listening tonight I would like to apologize. It seems; we are having some, technical difficulties and we now have everything, under control. Thank you for being patient.” Trevor motioned toward Billy. “Go on, I would like to hear how you and your brother met your mutual friend Rocco.”

Billy looked at Stephen cautiously. “Well; it was a month or so, after we moved in. We decided to go for a bike ride; you know, to familiarize ourselves with our new neighborhood…” He lowered his head. “I am sorry Mr. Lewis, I thought I could; but I think it would be best to let Rocco tell his version of the story.” Billy brushed his brother’s hand. “What do you think Stephen?”

Stephen looked at Trevor with a closed-mouth grin. “Yeah Billy has a point; its best we let Rocco tell it.”

“Wow guys, I didn’t see that coming” Trevor slapped his hands on the table and glanced at his guests. “Okay then, Mason. Let’s make sure Rocco’s microphone is good to go, alright?”

Trevor motioned for the engineer to bring Rocco’s volume back up. “Okay, let’s hear it from the horse’s mouth and ‘Let’s make a Cast!’”

Billy jumped from his seat and covered Trevor’s microphone. “No wait!” Stephen and Billy both shook their heads. Stephen explained, “I would be very careful to what you say.”

Trevor pulled back. “What. Why?” Billy chimed in. “Be very cautious; believe me you don’t want to get on his bad side, have you not heard a word we said?”

Trevor looked at them confidently. “Oh, I am sure everything will be just fine; plus I am the host, what could he do to me?”

Stephen and Billy laughed. “Don’t say we didn’t warn you.”

Mr. Lewis turned to his engineer. “Okay bring him up.” Then he addressed Rocco. “Hello; Rocco, are you still with us?”

The box hobbled and turned. “Yes Trevor, I am here. I can hear you; do you want me to do that thing?”

Mr. Lewis looked confused. “What thing?”

Rocco’s voice pushed the needles just short of the red lines. “Testing one-Two, test-test”

Mason pointed to Trevor. “We are good to go”

Trevor took to the airwaves. “Alright then Ladies and Gentlemen of our audience; I would like to introduce a close friend of Stephen and Billy Cole; let’s give Rocco a warm podcast welcome, shall we?”

Mason raised the applause fader. The headsets filled with the sound of 40 imaginary people welcoming the new caster. Mr. Lewis looked proudly toward the portable speaker. “Welcome Rocco… Tell us about yourself, and how you met Stephen and Billy, but first I must ask. Do you have a last name?”

Rocco answered proudly. “Yes; as a matter of fact I do, it’s Pine.”

Mr. Lewis lit up. “Welcome Mr. Rocco Pine… The floor is yours”

Rocco cleared his throat. “First off I want to thank you and your audience for having me on.”

“Oh you’re welcome Rocco, please continue.” Trevor’s confident grin escaped both Stephen and Billy.

”I believe it was a Wednesday afternoon and I was feeling lightheaded, dizzy and out of sorts. I soon realized that I was in an awkward position and missing a few but all familiar pieces to my normal attire. I began speaking with what can only be described as: a whispering lisp, a very bad stuffy head, and a muffled voice–”

Trevor covered his microphone and leaned toward Stephen and Billy. “What’s he talking about?” Rocco, unaware of what had been left out earlier, continued.

Stephen and Billy raised their fingers to their lips. “Shush… Just wait it out.”

Rocco continued, oblivious. “–Trying to understand my situation, a few rhetorical questions started to escape me. Why can’t I see anything? Where am I? Wait! Let me try to scream out. Help. Help! It took all of 10 seconds and I gave up.”

Mr. Lewis leaned closer to his microphone. “Why did you stop calling for help?”

Rocco answered, stern and crystal clear. “I stopped yelling because I realized I have never been heard by a human before.”

Billy and Stephen turned to each other and exchanged a high-five. “And there it is”

Trevor weighed in, confused. “What does that mean; you never talked to another person before, are you a hobo or something?”

Trevor laughed. “Who doesn’t talk to another person?”

Stephen and Billy dropped their heads onto the table and covered them with their arms. Stephen raised a hand. “Wait. Wait, Rocco sorry to interrupt.”

Trevor leaned in. “Yes Stephen?”

“I think I left out some valuable information.” 

Rocco realized what had happened. “Oh I see, so I guess I will have to tell them myself.” He hobbled across the table and stopped in front of the host. “Trevor. First off; you are dealing with two complete imbeciles—idiots; who when I first met them didn’t know the difference between hot and cold; so for them to leave out, the tiniest tid-bit of information is just typical, you know why?”

Trevor asked anxiously, “No please tell us”

Rocco bounced left to right. “Because no matter how much you teach them and how long you grow together, they will never learn.” He stopped and turned toward the brothers. “Embarrassment is a fear, just get over it!”

Trevor was fully engaged now, holding back his laughter. “Okay Rocco, tell us why you can’t speak to humans.”

“Because, I am not human”

Stephen and Billy looked at Mr. Lewis with serious faces and responded together, “Welcome to our world Mr. Lewis”

Mr. Trevor Lewis became so disgusted with his guests that he began verbally abusing them on the air, insulting them to the point of embarrassing himself.

End of Chapter One